Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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