Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize