so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize