i just wanna soil my oats bro
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
