I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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