The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
