Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
