you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
