So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
