I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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