I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
