i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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