I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
