I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
