I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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