i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
