pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
