the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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