Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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