Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
