Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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