I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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