I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Randomize
