So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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