I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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