Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
His nipple licking is glorious
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