She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
