with your own penis?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
