oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
