i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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