Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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