I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
