$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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