Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
