After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize