this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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