i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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