forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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