There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
