what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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