Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
