I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
