dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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