She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
