yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
