Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize