Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
