Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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