I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I AM VODKA MAN
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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