wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
