i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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