Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
