this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
