You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
