she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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